It's out of my hands

I'm beyond frustrated. He's been calling me non-stop since he left, to tell me that he misses me. So why isn't he here? What is this I hear? You're staying in Kelowna for a couple of months? What happened to showing up on Monday? Do you think you're daughter is even going to remember who you are?

I guess it's easy to assume he's never going to show up. And if he does, he's no longer welcomed. I'm tired of the phone calls that toy with my feelings, I'm tired of false promises, I'm tired of contradictory actions and words and I'm tired of being dissapointed.

Leave me alone. Leave us alone. That's the best thing you've ever capable of doing.

I'm upset and I shouldn't be. I'm doing everything to move on. I've tried to not communicate with him. I'm trying to move on emotionally. ND asked me to marry him and I said yes. I've met a man. An actual man, not an overgrown child who can't stand up to his handlers, no, a man. I want my own family. This needs to end.

He belongs with those folks. I'm just tired of it. I'm tired of loving this person. I'm tired of being constantly depressed over this whole affair. I'm filing for a parenting order. He's talking of going of his meds and I can't risk having his meltdowns, especially when they get violent, affect Lilo.

I'm done. I'm done. I'm done.