The motherboard on my laptop is kapput! $400 to repair it, for a laptop that cost $2000 in 2005, I don't have that kind of money. I don't have anything period.
Babydaddy ain't shit, he wanna give that baby back
Speaking of him he showed up in town a couple of weeks back.
Things got so stressfull between me and N.D so I broke up with him.
Mitch shows up with his madre and I'm like no. You guys show up in town don't mean nothing good for me so I don't wanna see yah together. Mitch, you can come and see your daughter, keep that abomination you call a mother away from me and we're gonna be good.
But does he ever listen to me, no. Comes up with a bullshit excuse about buying me car insurance, but when I see the piece of paper he brings over, only his name's on it. I don't see mine anywhere. And I'm like "why the fuck would you make a huge brouhaha(noise) about getting car insurance on the car when you only got it under your name. He's clueless as usual. I figured the meeting at the insurance place went the way every important meeting concerning him goes: He was staring at nothing, thinking about nothing while his mother did the transaction.
He did the same when she, without his 'knowledge', placed a power of attorney on his bank account a few years back. But is he ever aware of important shit that concerns him? No.
See, he doesn't want to grow up. And he never will.
Either ways I'm go, "well, if my name is not on the insurance, then what are we even doing business for? Don't waste my fucking time" his mom is in the background while we're on the phone and she says something about us going to the insurance place and I tell Mitch "My business isn't with your mother. It's with you. The car is under your name so I'm only going to deal with you." She of course, is trying to orchestrate this whole thing to catch a glimpse of Lilo and I'm like, that's not going to happen. She gets on the phone and threatens me with 'legal action if you won't let me see her'.
And really no, you don't get to see the child you tried to get rid off, the same child you said you weren't going to help since your son was your only concern, the child you tried to coerce me into giving up for adoption, getting your son to facebook me about it, no, see she's so used to dealing with retards she thinks she can sway me by waving money in my face, since that's the way anyone communicates in that family. It's all about control, coercion, emotional manipulation and a whole lot of bribing.
It's really too bad that money's never meant much to me. Or clearly I would be speaking a different language.
Oh I got mad.
I got mad...Not as mad as her sister was when she almost kicked her ass the next day though...lol...
That's another story.
He took the car, the car he already sold to me and sold it. Which wasn't any problem to me, because I haven't been using it since the insurance I paid for expired last September. It was sitting in the garage, gathering dust, and I had to pay $60 a month to keep it there. But I guess his mom felt she was hurting me by taking that piece of shit away. And that's the thing about negative people: They lash out at you, not even realizing that by removing anything from you that had to do with them, they're actually doing you a favor, since the less you have to do with their toxicity, the better your life would be. And that's the way you always have to look at it.
Yesterday was an extra busy day for me. I had a meeting with my lawyer, informed him of the recent run in with the ex, of his mother's threat ( which he reassured me, is baseless, since they've already showed their elicist, prejudiced colors, the court arent going to let her near my daughter ), TRIED TO FILE MY TAXES, ONLY TO FIND OUT THAT I HAD TO FILE FROM 2005-AND CHANGE MY SIN...had a job interview at the yoga place...
Didn't I tell you? I have no money. I have to go back to work.
No more long days spent taking care of my child, no I have to go out and work, because her father is too busy sitting at his parents house doing nothing. Twenty five years old.
Either ways, my mother and I agree that Mitch is old news. We have talked to him. She has spoken to Mitch more than she has to my own older brother, who himself is mentally ill. We accepted Mitch into our family and we offered him advice on how to take charge of himself, how to deal with his fears, we've tried to ease those fears, I've listened to Mitch's bullshit for years, myself. And he's all about telling you what you want to hear but when it comes time for him to walk his talk?
Yeah. I'll be a old broad before that man ever gets his shit together. But as of now, he is no longer any of my concern. And it's been a long time for me to get to this point, and each time I say this, it's like an affirmation.
I've, however, come to the point where I don't even feel pity for him anymore. He's made his bed, he's gotta sleep in it.
The yoga place is under construction, and the lady who seems to run it is only offering a very very part-time position.
My mom thinks that I should go back to school, yet I'm supposed to afford taking care of Lilo. I've told her as best as I can that I do not see myself in a corporate job, nor am I interested in having a 'career'.
People are sheep. They are constantly fed this bullshit lifegoals that have them feeding into the machine that we're trapped in today: Go to highschool so that you can take student loans and enter a lifetime of debt. Student loans, mortgages, credit cards, corporate tiny box cubicle, office clothes, boring, soul stiffling living.
No. Not for me. If refusing to hold an office job so that I can see more of my daughter when she grows up is a crime? So be it. I don't care if I'm starving, as long as she's not. I don't care if we live in this apartment building for the rest of our lives as long as we get to have a relationship. I'm willing to make enough to feed and clothes her. We live in Canada, where the cops and the government run pedophile rings, but thank goddess they try to keep the public oblivious to what goes on with tax benefits!
I'm tired. Imagine pushing a huge stroller through all that snow. Goddamn. The plus-side: I'm toning up. Poor and fit? Yes I am.
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