Mitch keeps calling me and I don't know what he really wants from me. I told him, you made your choice, you made your bed, now sleep in it. If he doesn't want to accept that, it's no longer my problem. I've got a heap of trouble and I can't be bothered with his.
When I had love in my heart for him, he treated it like it was nothing, meant nothing. He cheated, treated me like I was less of a human being because what? My skin is dark? Your family is deeply materialistic? He fell for his mother's manipulations through that creepy cousin of his, and started believing there were countless of chicks out there with his name on their ass and he was wasting his time with me. I remember when he started to walk apart from us, when we were out in public. I remember when his mom told him he wasn't responsible for my happiness and that I was going to be a single mother, something he took to heart, sort of...like a permission to do whatever he felt like doing...
Our daughter was cute. Period. Not an actual human being worthy of love, affection and his care. Now that his own family has abandoned him, he thinks he can find sympathy here?
No...
He shouldn't have thrown everything away from false promises and incestuously possessive family members.
I took a chance, loving someone who everyone told me was going to break my heart. He says now that he wants me to have faith in him and I'm insulted that he refuses to recognize that I once did. I took a gamble. He took a chance, thinking there was better out there than his daughter and I...I can't figure out whether anyone won out of this whole deal.
Not I, I had my heart broken.
Not Lilo, she's fatherless.
He's homeless, living in a psych ward because the atmosphere at his parents' home is unpleasant. I won't let him back here because I do not want anything to do with them. They have been the source of every fight we've had this past year. I do not need unpleasant people like that in my life. If he refuses to see how much they've taken from him, his autonomy, his privacy, he deserves everything that befalls him.
When I think of him now, I get no emotional response, perhaps disgust.
Even when I try to consider the possibility of reconciliation I can't help but chuckle, it seems like a joke. I've got no respect, no affection, no 'nothing for him. Maybe he should keep groveling to his family, be the house pet they want him to be. They were trying to stop him from coming back to Calgary, and only then did he start thinking that 'perhaps there's something abnormal about my folks' and that's retardation for you. The thing is, he's never going to learn from his mistake. Maybe that's the source of his insanity, a complete inability to learn like 'regular' people do. If he keeps them in his life, he's never going to be free. They are cancers, toxic, either you extract them or you suffocate.
Now he claims he wants to be near Lilo. Now he wants to be near us because supposedly, his aunt, Lilo and I are the only normal people he knows and he wants to be a better man...
Too little, too late, too little, too late.
I've got no use for a man who's incapable of making independent decisions. I don't think Lilo does, either. She doesn't need a father who won't keep his commitments.
It's so sad, it's such a waste.
But I'm glad I don't have to share Lilo with him. His incompetence, something his family and him thought would work in their favor, has proven to be quite costly...thought he could escape responsibility, didn't realize he was losing far much more than that. Now he's stuck in a psych ward with no where to go. I'm not his safety blanket. I'm not his anything. He told me himself. You're not my wife, I don't want to be with you, words that he claims to have forgotten now, and wow, would his denial be a source of entertainment if it wasn't so sad...
Now, if I was an evil bitch, I would be chuckling now. But it's just pathetic.
Moral of the story is: Don't think you can screw someone over and walk away unaffected. What goes around...Do onto others...
Mitch's mom is supposedly still trying to manipulate the creepy cousin into emotionally blackmailing her mother, Mitchell's aunt, by using her son. She has been deeply jealous of Mitchell and I's relationship from the start, and that shifted to being jealous of the relationship between me and her mother. And my heart tightens at the torment she's inflicting on her mother.
Anyone stupid enough to be blind to the pettiness of Mitch's mom deserves whatever happens to them. Trying to blackmail your mom into only seeing your son, because you deeply believe your mother is a possession is downright evil. Going as far as manipulating your siblings into inflicting pain on your mother in order to get her to submit to your immature demands?
Wow.
What an exemplary human being. But you know what they always say...at least what my mom got told by my grandmother...and then relayed to me: 'Whatever crime, injustice, pain you inflict on your parents, your children would inflict on you'.
Don't walk around demanding respect, when you have none for anyone.
And this woman, Mitchell's aunt does not deserve to be punished over and over again for being a caring person, for being there for Mitch and I during the rest of my pregnancy. I know she's so intent on trying to please her children, but I will not just sit back anymore, and watch her to be abused emotionally, when she's done so much for my daughter and I.
I've said nothing up to this point about the mistreatment I've seen her receive from her children. My mother's motto is to just ignore them. But I get frustrated, to the point of tears when I see the effort that she makes to try to get to them, and to see them in return badmouth her and claim that she's been a bad mother so she deserves to be abused, when I've seen otherwise just makes me so angry. I would give that woman the clothes off my back if I had to, because I know she is the most genuine, beautiful in-and-out person I've ever met. I wish I could be half of who she is.
I don't know what to do except express my frustration and continue to live my life. Seeing people behave like that just make me sick in the stomach. I've got better things to do with my time than cater to the provocations of narcissists. But there comes a point where you have to say 'enough'.
Why does Mitch's mom keep thinking that hurting her sister for being a better person than she'll ever be is somehow going to give her satisfaction?
She's walking around with that fake nose and cosmetic procedures here and there...meanwhile her son and grandchild are living in poverty. She brags about going to South America to build houses for the less fortunate yet her actions against her son and his family speaks more on the kind of person she is.The day after Mitch tried to kill himself by chopping his hand off with a saw she was buying a new car, going around telling folks that I was somehow responsible for the whole thing.
The fact that she's ruined all chances of her ever being involved in Lilo's life isn't going to change, and is a 100% her fault.
And her sister would always be a part of Lilo's life, no matter what new tactic her 'loving' children come up with to inflict pain upon her, whether they work or not, I am at peace knowing that she is the only person in that
She's got five sons, I'm sure one would produce the daughter she so desperately wants. People always make the mistake of assuming that hurting others is an act that can be committed with impunity. This family is so fucked up...and their arrogance is astronomical sized...
Now everyone has the right to be whatever they want to be. True. And human beings come in different shapes, sizes, tastes and scones and it is what makes this planet so beautiful and diverse. Some people meet and they are able to bring the best out of each other, their qualities mesh into a beautiful display of inter-human interaction.
Others, not so much. But that's where respect comes in. Respect the other person's difference.
You feel a certain way?
I can respect that you feel that way. But since I don't, it's best if we don't associate with each other.
And that's why I keep to myself and I keep Lilo away from them. They feel like because I was black, I was a gold-digger. They also felt that they have the right to do whatever they want to whomever they want. When one's own freedoms start to encroach on the right of others, it's a big problem.
Tangent:
I swear to Jeebus, they (his mom and his cousin) were all trying to be clever, using some reverse psychology crap trying to make Mitch believe that I was the one controlling him.
And you know his gullible ass swallowed it whole. I couldn't help but go...'damn...I thought you were smarter than that. A damn bat could have seen through that bullshit'. Goes to show you that once the love goggles fall off, most folk can't believe WHAT they've been fucking. I was very surprised (but kinda saw it coming from a mile away). Here I thought I was with my soulmate, the one who understands me...la-di-da. Then it all crashed and I realized 'well if you're that dumb I guess you're gonna have to go. Baaaiii!'Falling out of love was just a strange experience...I'll keep that story for another post. This one's getting tres convoluted.
That cousin has the right to be as spoiled rotten and as immature as they want to. She does not have the right to emotionally blackmail anyone. She does not have the right to keep bringing up my name and my daughter's name as an excuse to withhold affection from her mom.
I would not be unwittingly involved into her ugliness anymore. I'm tired of seeing the pain in that woman's eyes because her daughter keeps pulling bullshit excuses to stop her from seeing her grandson. If her daughter is jealous of the closeness between her mom and I, she should then be trying to be a better daughter to her, instead of abusing her. Last time, her mom had to have a surgery. She refused to go pick her mom up afterwards. I did. You know why?
Because I could never have stood by and not helped her. I don't operate like that. Her intervention probably saved my daughter's life. I was so stressed out during my pregnancy, when I resided in Kelowna, and I believe Lilo would have been born premature had I not left. She offered my tiny little family a roof, shelter, love. I would always bend over backwards to help her.
Either way...
Mitch's mom has the right to be as hypocritical as she wants to be, but she truly seems to believe that she was entitled to meddle in Mitch and I's life. And that's a problem. Until she rectify their mistake, or start respecting others' boundaries, she is not welcomed anywhere near Lilo and I. Why? Because she don't seem to be happy unless she's making someone else miserable. It's like she needs to be vindictive in order to feel at peace. It's such a sad display of insecurity.
Funny thing is, that cousin dared get on her high horse after she got wind that her brother and I were talking about her. The fact that she is directly responsible for the complicity between me and her mom seems to escape her.
But then again, sociopaths never seem to acknowledge the fact that other human beings deserve the right to be respected. They only think of their own needs.
I would rather die than even publicly acknowledge that I know individuals like them yet they keep trying to rally against Mitchell's aunt, trying to get her to stop seeing Lilo and I...like what...you think I want to be a part of your family?
Don't involve me in your bullshit anymore. I'm over it
Out of all the people I've encountered in my short life, these folks take the title of 'lamest people I've ever met'. They're a band of emotionally crippled individuals and I have nothing but pity for all of them. They're almost caricactural in their avarice.
Keep telling yourself that there's no right or wrong. Life would teach you otherwise.
Pheeew....I had to get that off my chest.
Ultimately, I wish Mitch the best.
I truly do. I hope he finds happiness in himself, I hope he develops enough to have a private relationship with another person without having his so-called family disrespect his boundaries.
He still calls me 3/4 times a day. I try to keep our conversation friendly. Sometimes it works. Sometimes it doesn't. Ah ah, I'm trying, though.
But I'm not about to lift a finger to help him. I'm done doing that. I'm done being his fool. Unfortunately, the next time he finds love he's going to have to work for it, and that's something, given the laziness inherent to the folks he's related to, I think he's going to have a hard time doing.
Although, he might get lucky again and find another gal desperate to be with him. Stranger things have happened. Though perhaps this time around she'll be interested in the so-called wealth his family possesses. As for his mother, there are worse things than her out there. She better pray her control over her sons is air-tight or the next daughter-in-law that would walk though her door might be the embodiment of her worst nightmare.
One can only dream...
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