It feels like I'm being fucked by the sharp end of a blade every I take a step and there is nothing like pain to help bring life into perspective. I'm tired. Of being manipulated. Of being treated like a child. Of being fucked with.
And I can see how those feelings have helped me keep a lot of people at bay, but the top is the position I seek, because I can't handle the pain of being someone's bitch, especially when you once felt an incredible amount of love for them. When there's nothing left, only the darker things swirl and those cause you to do dangerous things. I've become aware of my addiction with danger, with taking risks, those I can control...of course. The unknown is a beguiling seductress, or should I say seductor.
I'm tormented by the pain between my hips and the roll in the grass that changed everything, reawakened my desire for control over my world. I can't let go. And as I charge further and further into the unknown I refuse to continue letting fear holding me back, despite the chance of disastrous consequence. I want more.
And I can see how those feelings have helped me keep a lot of people at bay, but the top is the position I seek, because I can't handle the pain of being someone's bitch, especially when you once felt an incredible amount of love for them. When there's nothing left, only the darker things swirl and those cause you to do dangerous things. I've become aware of my addiction with danger, with taking risks, those I can control...of course. The unknown is a beguiling seductress, or should I say seductor.
I'm tormented by the pain between my hips and the roll in the grass that changed everything, reawakened my desire for control over my world. I can't let go. And as I charge further and further into the unknown I refuse to continue letting fear holding me back, despite the chance of disastrous consequence. I want more.
What is the biggest risk you are taking now, what danger are you in led by which darker things? I'm full of questions, speculative mind scenarios. Is it him, the rough one? But I'm doomed since days to follow Mr. Holmes advices for now:
ReplyDelete"It is a capital mistake to theorize before you have all the evidence. It biases the judgment."
"Before turning to those moral and mental aspects of the matter which present the greatest difficulties, let the inquirer begin by mastering more elementary problems."