It's funny how none of these men pause for one second to think about what I want. They dictate how they want to be treated. They expect to plow me like a brood mare. They can utter sweet words when it suits them, though most don't even bother. None have bothered pondering on the fact that not an ounce of romance or effort has been made on their part to figure out what I desired.
I am unable to hand myself over to any man at the moment because I have not gotten any love from any men since Jason left. And that was three years ago. I've had to shoulder the burden of raising a child on my own, with a body that has been aching inside and out for quite a while now. No one's fucking offered me a bloody shoulder to cry on. But I'm a fucking 'angry, disrespectful' woman when I get fed up with that kind of shit. Get fed up with the fact that not a single man that has approached me has actually given a damn about me as a person.
I am so fed up right now. On the upside, I just got news that my problem has nothing to do with my ovaries. Nice to know my baby maker is still functional, though I doubt I will be putting it to use any time soon. I've got a CT scan in a week. I'm dragging my ass along. I'll rather do it alone than with another selfish asshole, though it hurts to let go of the fantasy. It fucking hurts right now.
I am unable to hand myself over to any man at the moment because I have not gotten any love from any men since Jason left. And that was three years ago. I've had to shoulder the burden of raising a child on my own, with a body that has been aching inside and out for quite a while now. No one's fucking offered me a bloody shoulder to cry on. But I'm a fucking 'angry, disrespectful' woman when I get fed up with that kind of shit. Get fed up with the fact that not a single man that has approached me has actually given a damn about me as a person.
I am so fed up right now. On the upside, I just got news that my problem has nothing to do with my ovaries. Nice to know my baby maker is still functional, though I doubt I will be putting it to use any time soon. I've got a CT scan in a week. I'm dragging my ass along. I'll rather do it alone than with another selfish asshole, though it hurts to let go of the fantasy. It fucking hurts right now.
I'm really sorry you hurt so much in your body and your heart and no one is there to hold you :(
ReplyDeleteTry to get those assholes out of your system, your memory, they are not worth the air they breath. You are a warm, intelligent and strong woman which frightens them because they know you outclass them by far.
I'm glad your ovaries are not compromised and Lilo can look forward to some siblings when the right guy, a real father and not just sperm producer, comes along.
Big hugs and lots of love
No more babies.
ReplyDeleteNo more men. I like naked girls.
ReplyDeleteWith big breasts. And large bums.
ReplyDeleteI like the girl idea although personally I would rather prefer small breasts, large bums are ok. That would solve the baby question too.
ReplyDeleteYou are on a good way Yo (just watch out there are also some bad bitches out there which you should avoid at all costs!) ;)
I'm one of them, apparently.
ReplyDeleteNo you are the exact opposite. You couldn't be a bitch even if you would try extra hard, no chance, not in a million years. What you are is called a woman with principles.
ReplyDeleteDon't let some blind guys tell you about color.