Something... is telling me ND is not gonna be around for much longer. It's in the way we've been fighting lately. The words we exchange. There's sadness in his voice. As for me it's as if I'm part of the fog, I'm just not there. I can't connect. It's like the Na'avi people with their tails/genitals except mine's all limp and full of necrosis and his is all erect and all excited to connect.
I'm trapped under 5 inches of ice and he's not going to get to me.
Bummer.
I don't know what to...say.
I want him to be my friend. I miss his smile, his presence. I do. I'm not ready for much more than that right now. Part of me really wishes I was, but I just can't flex, I can't bring myself to hold on to anyone right now.
They come and go, they come and go.
I don't want anyone to stay now. It's like, I'm actually happy at the thought of being miserable and alone in my bedroom. It's so fucking masochistic!
LOL.
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